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Date: 2000-05-05 22:39:00

This is, truly, the one essential question of my life. I haven't gone to bed before 0100 in at least a week, but I'm about ready to drop now. It's the weekend, and I have strict orders to recover some sleep. Since obviously I'm going to pseudo-Fest tomorrow night, I need to sleep right now. But first, a bit of news... After all, this is my changelog, right?

Dead Day II. Turned in sixteen pages of notes in Christian beliefs, having recovered it from a cute girl who tried to steal it last night in the computer lab. (She claims it wasn't stealing, as it only was a prank. It was. No. Yes. No. Yes. No. Da. No. Da. No. et al.) Reviewed for the finals in all my classes. Stared at my physics grade for ten minutes and punched various scenarios. If I can convince Dr. Show to drop a homework score instead of a test score (he did it last semester, and I think it's actually in the syllabus that way), my grade will jump 5% -- with my grade sitting at 89%, that'd be great. Finals won't kick my butt too badly, besides having to show up at 0730 three days in a row. Then I Fest, and go home. Wow. it's been real, and fun, and frequently real fun. Four semesters. Walking around this afternoon I was reminded of the first weeks I spent here, in August: sticky heat reflecting off large glass walls, walking into chilly, slightly musty-smelling air-conditioned buildings. Went to vespers in sandals. Saw but didn't get to talk to one of the prominent figures from my List at the beginning of this semester. In five days I get to say goodbye to these people, those who have become my entire circle. I feel... apathetic. Ready to leave, I guess, because I don't want to spend another semester in Lincoln, but remembering what I've been through here, the friendships I've experienced, and the things I've learned. Looks like I'm not going to pull a Jäger again, which is good, I suppose, but... September is an awfully long time from now. (I'll be twenty then -- a fifth of a century. Crazy.)

Fare thee well
Trade in all our words for tea and sympathy
Wonder why we tried, for things could never be
Play our heart's lament like an unrehersed symphony

Not intend
To leave this castle full of empty rooms
Our love the captive in the tower never rescued
And all the victory songs
Seemed to be playing out of tune