Jäger Returns to Cubeville

Date: 2000-05-30 21:39:30

Jäger returned to Cubeville today in a move that shocked some but came as no suprise to others.

"I had no idea this was going to happen," said bouncing, disk jockey on the popular radio station KBNC. "Jäger going to work? Being a productive member of soceity? Never."

"We all knew this was inevetible," said Bitscape, world-famous radio personality on the even more popular (probably due to its greater content and longer existance) KBSC radio station, "but we never quite knew what or when. Jäger was considering several options, last I heard, but this one seems to be a good fit."

Reporters were unable to reach Jäger for comment. "Jäger will not be answering any questions at this time," said Bethany, public relations manage for KJGR. "He is taking the evening off, after watching 'Dilbert' tonight, typing in QWERTY all day long, and running the Bolder Boulder yesterday."

When asked about the possibility of a webpage update sometime soon, Bethany said nothing conclusive, saying, "I have nothing conclusive to report at this time." Scott, radio anti-personality on the dying KSLK station, said, "Work on x13, you whore!" When reminded that he wasn't actually talking to anyone who had anything to do with x13, he shrugged. "It's a great site, really! You want to visit it today, even if my highly-trained monkeys aren't quite finished yet." The news conference came to an abrupt stop when several monkeys broke out of their cages, where they were calculating search results, and mobbed the press area.