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Justice

Started: 2004-04-29 19:35:52

Submitted: 2004-04-29 20:24:22

Visibility: World-readable

If you want a good laugh, and you're of a generally left-leaning political bent, go to the DOJ's website and take a good look at the top item. (Just in case it changes at some point in the future, it's a link to this site.)

I got a rather interesting piece of mail today -- a massive envelope from the Department of Justice containing a letter informing me that my Phase I test was scheduled for 0800 Wednesday morning, 19 May 2004, at the FBI's Denver field office, and two large booklets describing the Special Agent application procedure and an algebra review for one of the three portions of the test.

Back in November, while my employment situation was significantly more uncertain, I wandered over to fbi.gov and filled out an online job application. (I was bored while waiting for Alias to begin, and I had just read an article pointing out that the FBI was in desperate need of computer people and was even going as far as to waive the normal two-year-experience requirement.) A speedy five months later, they finally got around to processing my application and decided I was worthy to take the first interview stage, which takes the form of a standardized test to determine my cognitive ability and other less-obvious characteristics.

These days I obviously have a job (and it'll actually be getting a little more entertaining in the near future; with any luck, I'll be able to do some embedded Linux development) that's a good deal closer to my field than being a Special Agent... but having the same title as Fox Mulder could be entertaining. A GS 10's pay isn't great (a little less than my current salary), but I suspect the benefits are better. (And being an employee of the FBI would, most likely, immediately subject me to a pre-emptory challenge by any competent defense team.)

I'm tempted to show up just for the hell of it; this isn't a direction I contemplated my career might go, but I think I could enjoy it. On the other hand, I can think of far more amusing ways to spend half a vacation day.

I eagerly await your shocked horror.

Bitscape, age 26, is a highly sought white hat hacker and an agent of
social subversion. An avid fan of salsa, developer-centric web design,
and cheesy pop music, Bitscape co-creates a world of love and
acceptance by sharing his vision. He enjoys helping low-tech firms
define their offline strategy, and he's advised many anonymous
unknowns, including the homeless on Pearl Street, escaped mental
patients, and hookers on East Colfax. As an aspiring web bum, he
applies his knowledge to a community venture, the Content Collective.
Bitscape resides in Westminster, Colorado, but may soon be moving into
a van down by the river. For speaking arrangements, don't bother
calling. Your bits will be lost in the noise.
- Bitscape's Lounge splash screen, October 2002